As you all may know, some parts of the country are experiencing winter storms, veritable blizzards replete with white-out conditions and school cancellations. Mine is one of them. Even so, after completing my teaching duties for the day, I decided that I must needs take the trash out. I’m not sure why, as it was neither rank or rancid, nor was it overflowing. Truth be told, I just wanted to go out in the snow. You see, I’m from the Deep South, where we rarely get more than an inch or two in a season (although global warming is changing that), and I still get excited by the soft, pillowy, allure of fresh snow. You’d think I’d be over it after living in the Midwest for several years, but I’m not.

So, I put on an extra pair of pants, throw on my BLF Press hoodie and my snow boots, bag up the trash and open the door. It’s a little colder than I thought, so I go back in and put on another jacket.

“Ready,” I say to myself as I pat my pockets for keys and cell phone, just in case I fall out and need somebody to come get me.

“Okay, you got this. You are NOT going to fall down the steps,” I say aloud.

First step cleared, I’m good.

“Okay, okay, okay, keep going, you got this!” I’m cheering myself on, because of course I am.

Step three. Uh oh.

You see, dear reader. Step three converges at the point where the roof overhang ends. Which means that the snow is piled up so high that steps three and four are nearly invisible. At this point, however, I’m committed. I WILL take this trash out, and I am NOT going to fall down the steps.

So, first things first: I fling the trash bag down to the bottom of the steps. There’s no way I can bend over to clean off the steps with my hands without toppling over, and I don’t have a snow shovel in my apartment. Then, I re-survey the steps and realize that the only way down is to sled down. So, I sit down, place my gloved hands on the steps, and propel myself down.

Wheeeeeee!

I *sled* down to the bottom, look around to see if any of my neighbors saw me, get up, and dust myself off. I then grab up the trash bag, and traipse through the snow to the garbage receptacle.

And this friends, is how GenXers with bad knees play in the snow.